My life has never been easy. I’ve had to deal with stuff, as a child and as a teenager, that, in my opinion, people shouln’t have to. It made me a stronger person, I know, but I have issues. And I am pretty sure I will have them all my life. I hate it.
Some weeks ago when this idea popped up and I decided to take this as “a life-changing experience” my friend Jesse, to encourage me, told me to “do the Holtby shuffle!”. (By the way I don’t know the exact sentence and it bugs me because it was awesome, i should have saved it! All i can remember is “do the Holtby shuffle!”)
THIS is the Holtby shuffle. This man is the fiercest bitch ever. I love him. He is a hockey goalie currently playing for the Hersey Bears and the Washington Capitals. He has all those weird “rituals” that help him before the game, during the game, all the time. People might think he is crazy, but as he once said “I think everyone else is scared of looking weird, I don’t really care, as long as it helps me stop the puck.”
So I have been using this as my own motivational sentence. When all I wanna do is disappear, or cry or i don’t have energy to wake up from bed i repeat to myself “DO THE HOLTBY SHUFFLE”. No, i do not start playing the USA anthem and make little jumps. I breathe in and out and feel a bit stronger so I can go on.
Today is a very hard day, this week is going to be very hard. I am not sure I will be able to handle it but I will keep repeating this in my head and try to survive. I am a weird person, but I don’t really care, as long as this helps me stop my own kind of pucks.
In other news relevant to my actual travel, I am still trying to contact the embassy and there is no luck. I don’t know what to do. Right now I kinda find it funny. Let me wait a couple of weeks and I will be freaking out.
I also found out two other girls that will be joining me during the volunteering. I have been mentally writing an email to send them but I am very nervous about it, even if it sounds silly. I am going to write them today, though. Fun fact, one of them is called Laura too!